Reoccurring

that constant fear
that constant notion
that constant thought that keeps trying to resurface
push
push
pushing to the top of it all
floating back up
and letting you know it exists
it still exists
always will
now matter how many rocks you tie to this
radioactive
destructive
addicting
repulsive
thought.
its there.
living in silence
waiting to rise up.
waiting to resurface.

Bedtime.

Fall into the sky
Disappear into the earth
Feel the wind pass you,
Can you feel it ?
It hurts.
A thousand pricks slice
A coldness comes on
The earth is soaked
And red now runs.
But I fall into the sky
I fall up into the stars
Gravity no longer exists
And I no longer resist
The earth is now my home
I fall back into my place
Back into my time
And back into my space.

Out of Time

The howling wind kept my small body shivering, the snow was piling on this small rooftop like a coating of cupcake icing and there was still no sign of him. It was five till nine and time was slowing down all around me. I looked around the empty lot and imagined him running through that door, ready and willing. But there was just the door and the sound of the city breathing. I love this place, you could see the whole of Chicago from here, covered in a thick layer of winter but beautiful none the less. All the shining lights kept me hypnotized, lost in my thoughts of what would happen now? Would he swoop down and save me, take me away like he unwittingly promises? Or will I be left to endure this frigid winter alone? Wounded. It was always push and pull with us. We were always an almost but never a yes, never a for sure, never a forever. I waited my whole life for him, and I feel like nothing but his back up plan, just his plan B. Nine on the dot. I guess plan A must have worked out. I stepped up onto the ledge, and I stared down at the city that was my entire life. My face was hot, the cold couldn't bother me now. Standing over the city felt calming, numbing even. He wasn't coming and I was done with this game that I've been losing. I wanted to keep this image of my beautiful city in my mind, a winter wonderland that never let me down. I took a deep breathe. I slowly turned my back to all the sounds of life and flickering lights. I closed my eyes and thought of all the times I felt like I was the only plan he ever wanted. Times that seemed like I was the only thing that could light up his world. The scent of his coat as he hugged me, that smile that said I love you and only you. Its now or never, this is it. It's the beginning, or the end. I let myself fall back into the cruel city, it was all slow motion but I could hear the wind rushing as gravity pulled me down. And there it was, that awaited sound that always drowned out the cries of the city. A loud call, but somehow soft as he said it, "..Hannah?"
It was him. He was late.

©HeyJude

Through It All

it's hard to come across this,
to miss something like this.
 To let it fly by your life without trying to even reach for it.
 But i have it,
 I've nabbed it,
and now its mine to keep,
 to flaunt,
to show off to the world what I've got.
 I'll treat it with care,
treat you with care and cherish everything your sharing with me.
 I could be the world and you my sky,
 i could live a thousand lives
and still love you all my life.

©HeyJude

Sky

A quiet and silenced sky lies over me, a cool breeze of rain to come rushes over me. Pulling my hair back, the wind leaves my face in an absolutely peaceful expression; In shock. As if I've opened my eyes for the very first time, all the colors swirl together. It's so beautiful and real, i'd swear it was fake. Just a dream. Look up at the sky, the way the clouds flow and dance above us, free to forever roam the world with their everlasting glory. Lay back and watch the world turn now, watch how the silk colors in the sky leave you behind in a blanket of diamonds. Stare, drink in the raw beauty of a silenced sky, embrace the world around you before it passes you by.

©HeyJude

Our Burning City

The cities burning
and blackening our skies
engulfing our lives
and no one sees
no one asks, why?
why oh why
do we not care if the world dies
do we not hear her pain
do we ignore her cries at night
turn our cheek to keep her problems out of sight?
Blind.
that's what we've become
smelling the smoke and then we run
we're done
we're killing her
and us at the same time.
we're careless
blind.

©HeyJude

The Kiss That Never Was

Slowly reaching midpoint, you grabbed my hand
you're warm.
your smell is comforting and voice inciting
your love is soft and tasteful, my ears are burning and my body's slowed down now.
Your holding me and i'm safe, I've never felt more comfortable then i am in your arms.
I could be here forever with you, just watching the world pass us by.
It's like were the only two existing now, i'd walk the world in search of you if i had to
i'd never give up.
your kiss is what lets my night become day, the kiss that never was has always been.

©HeyJude