A secret is something that tears you up inside, when you think about it you become nauseated, you feel dirty and you want to scream. I know that every person on this planet has a secret of their own. Many never tell a soul, but go over what happened in their head over and over again.
I have a secret; I’ve kept it for 14 years now. I’ve tried to console to people about it, tried to get it out of my mind, and sometimes I truly forget about it. I fear what will happen if I reveal my secret, what will that person think. I know now, now that im older its not my fault, but a piece of me will always feel that it is. Mainly, Ill always feel that way because I never told anyone, I should have. This secret is one that I would be relived to share, but I just cant yet. I’ve tried numerous times, but I still can’t. I’m just not ready to entirely admit what happen. I don’t know to whom I would be comfortable telling it to though, a stranger maybe. Someone I won’t have to see every day, I won’t have to look at them and wonder if their thinking about it.
Nothing will become of this secret once its let loose; no one can do anything about it. It has been too long, it’s the past and its unchangeable. I don’t even think I myself will feel better or relieved about it, I assume I would be, but I can easily be wrong. I think about this, and I cringe, if I can hardly think about it without breaking, how can I say it aloud to someone. Idealized secrets of your self are easier to tell, they don’t hurt to think about. Secrets that degrade you, the ones that haunt you when your alone, those are the hardest to tell.
©HeyJude
The way we perceive our self and the way other perceive each other are connected but both views are just that, perception. Your secret is only as only as dirty as you believe it to be, hurts only as much as you want it to hurt, and only haunts you as long as you dwell on it. But with this in mind any one you tell can only help as much as you let them and understand as much as you care to understand them. For better or worst your secrets are your own. But don't feel bad about them they give you personally because it's human to have secrets. It makes you more alive then others.
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